Depression is classified as "A common mental disorder that causes people to experience low mood, loss of pleasure, feelings of guilt and low self-esteem, disturbed sleep, altered appetite, low energy and concentration levels, coupled with intense emotions of anxiety, helplessness, negativity and hopelessness" (Mental Health Organisation)
For almost 25 years I fit snugly into the definition outlined above. I wouldn't change this experience because it has made me who I am today and now allows me to help others on their healing journey but I have spent the vast majority of my life living in the confines of this definition which almost drained the life out of me! What I do find sad is that depression is on the rise amongst all age groups and despite the fact conventional methods are not having any impact on these numbers we continue to turn to the pharmaceutical industry for answers.
Depression is an illness and it does take hold of your life and stops you dead in your tracks but the solution to the problem lies within the individual person and not in the sleeve of an expensive pill packet. I first experienced depression when I was 16 years old. I didn't recognise the symptoms I just hoped that one day I would wake up and feel normal, if there is such a thing, but I didn't. Following a suicide attempt I was referred to a Psychiatrist who prescribed me some medication and encouraged me to attend some cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) sessions. The truth is, the tablets only served to mask old wounds and the therapy didn't work for me. Sure, the symptoms eased but they never went away and the minute I left the therapy room I reverted back to my negative mind set. Following a 6 week course of therapy I was always discharged and considered to have made significant progress! despite my second and third suicide attempts or cries for help as they were often referred!
What a lot of people are now realising is that depressed people are very rarely seen by the outside world with an upside down frown! we don't like to 'put' on other people so we become who our therapists and nearest and dearest need us to be and then when we can't achieve this facade we retreat to the corners of our minds, hide away behind closed doors and only resurface when our inner demon is calm enough to allow interaction and communication with other human beings! Sure, we will answer the phone, make plans and then cancel because something else has arisen but like drug addicts we will very rarely tell you the truth and you will only ever see the masks we create in order to survive.
For 25 years I was the life and soul of the party (when I turned up :)!) chances are If I did turn up I would sneak off within an hour of my arrival but I made sure that I was the happy, go lucky Jo that everyone had come to know. I went to university and completed my degree in a year after bailing out on college due to poor life choices and my dearest friend depression! I went on to work as a police officer for 10 years helping other people deal with their own shit, I spent most of my time dealing with incidents most people only ever see at the movies and I kept my depression hidden. Until of course, my shift ended.
The truth is life has been one hell of a ride! It is hard even now to put my experiences into words but I will try in the hope that it may help another one day. I have always been an achiever despite my mental illness. I won student of the year award when I graduated from my HIND and I became the first student to pass my joint honours degree in just One year at Manchester University. I was one of the first operational female firearms officers in the police force and when I left and turned to the corporate world of business I doubled my salary and landed a company car in less than 6 months. Surely, this isn't possible when you suffer with depression I hear you say?
So lets look at me outside of the spot light and away from the prying eyes. In my early years I hated to be alone because I was frightened of myself and the uncontrollable thoughts inside my mind. However, once I was in company I would be looking for the nearest exit point as I couldn't bare to be around people and experience the pain inside my physical body. I wasn't able to concentrate on any form of conversation and I always felt like I looked terrible and before long I made friends with Bulimia (eating disorder) to pacify the loneliness I often felt. I became obsessed with the gym and the way I looked and I was forever cutting my hair, wasting money on fad diets and protein shakes and then purging on any food I ate to make myself feel better. I dated men who had serious issues themselves as I felt that was all I ever really deserved. As a police officer I was going home to domestic violence and lying to my superiors about my bruises and broken bones blaming it on hobbies I didn't even have (mountain biking)
The thoughts in my mind were constant and went something like this on a daily basis - Your legs are fat you need to do something about your weight (I have never weighed more than 8 st 9), nobody at work likes you, your life is a mess, nobody loves you, if you died nobody would even notice until you didn't turn up for work and they sent a patrol car to check your address days later, you look haggered, you deserve all the beatings you get, it's no wonder you haven't got any friends, you will never achieve anything in your life, you can't do this presentation people will be laughing at you, it's your fault they are in a mood, its no wonder people always leave you, you are a liar and you deserve everything you get, you are weird, you are not right in the head, you are not capable of a normal life.
There were times when I would go to sleep and prey to god that he would take me as I slept. There were days where I would break down and cry, in the shower, at the gym, watching TV, on my way to work, on my way to visit friends! I just could not escape myself. Needless to say the doctors kept me on my prescription of anti-depressants and on the odd occasion where I have tried to come off them I have lasted the grand total of 3 months before I have returned to the surgery in floods of tears seeking, yet more tablets! So what changed?
In 2017 I walked away from my final BAD relationship. I had what most people would define as a 'Light bulb moment' - Sat on the couch completely deflated and sick of the nagging voice inside my own head I packed my bag, grabbed my dog and left, never to return! My desperate times in my relationship led me to the Holistic Healing College in London and in an attempt to save myself from myself I enrolled on the Spiritual Life Coaching Course. It changed my life completely. Here are some of the key things that I educated myself in:
Your physical body is an amazing machine that requires no chemical intervention whatsoever as you produce everything that you need to function daily, all by yourself! Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain (according to doctors) so they prescribe medications (chemicals) to support neurotransmitter uptake such as serotonin. The problem in doing this is that chemicals don't target the root cause of the problem (depression) and by adding chemicals to the body (which it is already capable of producing on it's own) causes the body to stop producing its own so when you stop taking the tablets - you guessed it - the symptoms return and in my experience are twice as bad because you are now dealing with a physical body that has forgotten how to maintain its own homeostasis (balance) and the root cause that triggered the depression in the first place! (double trouble)
You are energy at source and you vibrate at 4 trillion times per second which is why you appear in physical form. When our essence (soul) is experiencing an imbalance in its energies it will manifest in the human body as disease (Dis Ease). Therefore putting chemicals into the body results in further disruption of homeostasis of the physical self and further imbalance in the energy of our soul. I have come to learn that you are not your physical body and therefore any disease that manifests in your physical body can only be treated at soul level. Conventional methods do not treat the root cause of any physical disease but the industry is worth billions and is therefore seen as the 'Answer' to everyone's physical Ailments!
Depression is born of the mind! - you don't say :)! we are in control of what we think and feel on a daily basis yet we choose to take tablets to mask a problem because the thought of dealing with the issue is way too hard OR we are blissfully unaware of any issue as we have been brainwashed into thinking we have a chemical imbalance in our brains and we need to take medication in order to get better! I am inclined to say we have been brainwashed. I suffered with depression for over 25 years and after 12 months of holistic therapies, spiritual life coaching and working with crystals and reiki I feel like a completely different person!
The truth is being in a physical body and having a human experience is bloody hard work! yet we are all responsible for this hard work because we all create it collectively. We are all hell bent on being like everybody else, denying ourselves of who we actually are, we all chase material crap for status and acceptance, most of us go to work to pay the bills and don't believe we are worthy of pleasure and joy, we buy into everything that the media prints or broadcasts, we listen to other peoples opinions and take them on board as our own, we adhere to working hours and salaries set by governments who take pleasure in dictating to us what we can and can't do, what is best for us and what isn't!, we send our kids to school to get brainwashed, we pay ridiculous amounts of money for property making property inaccessible to the majority, we moan about immigration and terrorism and in between all this we eat, sleep then repeat!
The planet we live on provides everything that we need to survive including medication (plants, water, herbs, spices, crystals, gems, heat, oxygen and more!) I turned to holistic therapies and transformed my life, I beat depression and survived a brain hemorrhage. Using Reiki I balanced my energies which raised my vibration and allowed me to connect to my highest self. Using crystals I was able to support continued healing at soul level and I use them daily to support all areas of my life including health, wealth and abundance. Through soul transformation therapy I was able to heal pain from both past and present lives. Through working on the root cause of my depression I have opened up a whole new world where I am connected with source, communicating with angels and my highest self, channeling information to support me to achieve my soul destiny! Life is amazing!
When you connect with and express yourself as who you actually are there is in fact no room for depression. Medication of any kind will block this connection further. When you choose work that makes you happy your stress and anxiety will disappear. No medication will make your work more satisfying and fulfilling. When you learn to love and accept yourself for who you are you will become empowered. No medication can create empowerment for you. When you deal with the root cause of any of your mental or emotional issues you will be free to create a life of health, wealth and abundance. There is no magic pill which will do this for you! - I think you get the message 🙂
Depression is real and it is painful and it can and will takeover your life - if you let it! But here is the thing - you have all you need inside of you to return to optimal health so don't make the same mistakes I did and spend years swallowing tablets and living in misery. Stop watching the news and reading the papers, follow your dreams and quit the job you hate, let go of people and places that make you miserable, forget material things and reconnect with nature, stop conforming and start living, identify with all the natural gifts mother earth has provided for you and swap the tablets for a holistic path which will heal and guide you back to your highest self.
Love & Light